I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
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