Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
