Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
