i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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