She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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