He uses pillows to masturbate.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Randomize
