How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
