I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
