She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I FOUND THE LEGS
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
