Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Randomize
