Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
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