i would punch a child for taco bell
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
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