Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
Sober January is a disaster.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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