my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
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