Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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