if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
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