were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
