david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
