Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Randomize
