i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
