your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
