I puked a lego.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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