The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Too much gin, very little bucket
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize
