there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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