i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
