Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
