I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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