I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
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Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
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So much rum. So many feels.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
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