all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Randomize
