lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Randomize
