xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
