i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
