no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
