thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Randomize
