Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
