I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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