2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I'm too high and old for this...
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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