My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
