That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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