fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
