He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
