Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
