seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
