you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
You had me at "let me see your balls"
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
