Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
