Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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