where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
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He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
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He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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