Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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