hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
