Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
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I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
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You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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