those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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