am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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