how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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