Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
my penis made a compromise with my morals
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize