So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Also, beer. Big fan.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I lost the right to judge tonight
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
