they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
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