i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Randomize
