people are starting to question the shark bite story
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
