Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
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Sacagawea was the original milf.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
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remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
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